how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize