Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
