Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
