Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
