Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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