All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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