I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
