I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize