She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
