Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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