.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I would fuck him just for his dog
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
