Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
