now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
