Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just want to make out with him forever
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm both gender and math confused
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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