i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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