i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just found puke in my bra..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
