but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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