so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
