Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
