After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she told me i tasted like america
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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