My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
