omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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