Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
