I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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