I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
