Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
After last night, I could never be a politician.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
