He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
