Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
