and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
