I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
