Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize