I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
