let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize