Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
