At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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