I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
vagina is talking i cant
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
