he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's shark week go big or go home
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
