Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
did i just pee glitter
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
