Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
