Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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