I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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