He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
