Dual....:-)
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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