I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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