I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
