I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
