My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
