i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Randomize
