It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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