Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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