Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
