Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
