looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize