so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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