Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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