I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
