Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
