brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
