yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
