dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
