I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
