3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
