those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
