Just mADE A PArabola og urine
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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