i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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