bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
