yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
