Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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