i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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