My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
How's work?
Spinning.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
