i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
