her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We're not piercing ourselves today.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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